sleepless in ... columbia??

i can't sleep. this isn't a new development - i've been a night owl for as long as i can remember. my brain functions better when it's raining or dark outside. how depressing. even my subconscious is a melodramatic 13 year old girl. sighhhh. no, my biggest problem with not being able to sleep at this exact moment is that it's interfering with my actual grown up life. also, did you know that they sell entire boxes of peaches and cream oatmeal now?? as in ... you don't have to buy the cream variety packs just to get the peach and strawberry ones. i tell you what, those guys at quaker are marketing geniuses. but their old strategy may've been best. package the awesome flavors with the crappy ones so you HAVE to buy them all. but what if i'm ALLERGIC to blueberries ... maybe the people at quaker like to torment people with food allergies. i love food and if i had an allergy to anything edible, i'd weep uncontrollably. the fair is coming in a few weeks. i can practically smell the elephant ears, corn dogs, and, subsequently, vomit. last year someone died at the fair. i think that's the saddest thing i've ever heard. the only thing worse than that would be dying at disney world. or being smothered by kittens. speaking of kittens, i got a cat a couple weeks ago. i say he's a cat but in actuality the probability that he is made entirely of evil and molten lava is quite good. in fact, he might be the most evil thing i've ever seen. he's small and fluffy and entirely white with big green eyes. adorable, right? WRONG. that's how he tricks you, though. he lures you in with his big eyes and then he rips your flesh. i love animals but this one ... he's the damien of the cat world. right this moment he's curled up on my shoulder, sleeping and purring. i'm scared to move because if he wakes up ... he's so close to my face ... i could lose an eye and i HIGHLY doubt i'd have the fashion sense to pull off an eye patch. at least not on a regular basis. although, i could get a glass eye like that guy in the 3 ninjas movie. or was it the karate kid? great, it's so late i'm confusing the plots of 2 completely different movies. i'm going to bed. (hopefully)

and this has been an example of what goes on in my mind, moment by moment. someone just shoot me now. :) i'm kidding, obviously.

or am i ...

mk, gnite